But then you could pick yourself off the floor where you were wailing (ok, hopefully, not all of us are that emotional about food, right?) and make these tofu buffalo wings!
My beau kept saying, "what are they made of??" And, "how did you get them to taste like this??!!" I took all of those exclamations as a good sign.
The trick is to freeze the tofu, defrost and gently wring out the excess moisture. Then bread it, bake it, and toss it with classic Buffalo hot sauce. Oh, and don't forget the bleu cheese dressing and celery, it's truly the antidote to the fire in your mouth!
Buffalo Style Chickenless Wings (from my vegan wings recipe, but this one is not)
1 lb tofu, frozen and defrosted
3 eggs, whipped
2 tablespoons flour (chickpea or other)
2-3 cups fine breadcrumbs (gluten free or otherwise)
4 tablespoon butter
4 tablespoons ketchup
2 tablespoons honey
3 tablespoons hot sauce
pinch cayenne powder
2 teaspoons pickled jalapeno juice (optional)
salt to taste
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Gently squeeze the water out of your tofu with your hands. Slice into 1/2 inch slabs and then cut the slabs into triangles on the bias. Set up your breading station with flour first, than whipped eggs followed by breadcrumbs. Using your left hand, dip a triangle in the flour and tap off excess, drop in eggs, and turn to coat, and then plop into the breadcrumbs and pat crumbs into tofu with your right hand; remove tofu with your right hand and place on a baking sheet. Repeat process with remaining tofu and spray tops with cooking oil. Bake for 15 minutes, flip tofu and cook an additional 10 minutes on other side.
Meanwhile, combine butter, ketchup, honey, hot sauce, cayenne and jalapeno juice in a sauce pan and heat over medium heat until sauce comes together. Cook another 2 minutes on low until it looses the ketchup taste. Set aside. When tofu is done, toss with sauce to coat well and serve immediately.